Wild Roses
by Grayzeek
Summary: A night watching a band at the Snack J turns into an education for one of our heroes.


A young woman with white and violet hair pushed sideways between Ken and Joe at the crowded bar with an apology.

Placing her left hand on the counter, she yelled over the pulsating music, "Hey! Jun! Can I get a drink when you've got a minute?"

Jun looked up from pouring a round of shots for the table in the corner. "Of course. I'll just get these out and I'll grab you one. What do you want? Scotch, no rocks?"

"Oh, you're a darling for remembering that. Take your time, love. I'm in no hurry," She eyed Ken, smiled and leaned closer to talk into his ear. "You must be Ken, right? Jun's friend?"

He nodded, blushing at her closeness – there was simply no room between the stools for someone to stand without touching the occupants and her barely covered breasts were nudging his arm. She laughed, "I'm Isabella. Also a friend of Jun's, although relatively new compared to you. I would shake your hand but that would require some impressive physics. It's a little crowded here."

"Nice to meet you. Jun's told me about you. You're a musician, right?"

"Guitarist. And you're a pilot, or so Jun tells me." She waited for him to nod the affirmative. "Now, if you're Ken, that must mean you're Joe." Isabella turned her head to look Joe up and down over her shoulder. Speaking loudly enough for both of them to hear, "You race cars and Jun says that if I know what's good for me, I won't go near you with a barge pole."

Ignoring Ken's guffaw, Joe calmly returned her direct, appraising gaze with a half-smile. "Jun just might be right."

"I'm a firm believer in learning from your mistakes. Which means that you do have to make some occasionally in order to learn from them." Isabella twitched an eyebrow at him before turning her attention to Jun, who had returned. Isabella winked at the girl who placing a generously filled glass on the counter. Dipping her left forefinger into the brown liquid she transferred it to her mouth. Keeping her head where both boys could see what she was doing, she took her time removing it.

The recorded music stopped and spotlights highlighted the stage. A well built man dressed in black leather walked to the microphone.

"We would be starting our set, but we can't seem to find our guitar player. Izzy, get your tongue out of whoever's throat you've stuck it down and get up here!"

"Oh, I do believe I'm wanted," Isabella casually remarked. Picking up the glass, she downed it in one mouthful. "Excuse me, duty calls." As she slid out from between the boys, Isabella placed her right hand gently on Ken's lower back, her left ran a feathery line along Joe's arm.

They both watched as the tightly-clad musician dashed through the crowd, one hand waving at the singer to show she was on her way.

"I do hope that whoever it was was worth our wait." The singer commented suggestively at the crowd.

Flipping her guitar strap over her head, Isabella purred into the mic in front of her, "I'll let you know, Aaron, just as soon as I have made my choice and had my wicked way."

"Oooo, Izzy! Do you think you could tear yourself from your deliberations long enough to play a few songs?"

"I don't know. But I do believe the decision will be a hard one." She winked at the whistling crowd. "Anyway, let's see how it goes, shall we?" She strummed a few chords to check the tuning before looking at the drummer for the count in.

"Her choice??" Ken turned to look at Joe as the band started playing an old rock song.

"Yep, guess the barge pole isn't that long. Do you want to bow out now?"

"If, and I want to stress the 'if', this was a competition, what makes you so sure she'd choose you?"

"You heard the girl. She's a firm believer in learning from her mistakes, and I am certainly more qualified to help her make some."

"In case you don't remember, she introduced herself to me, first. She kept her back to you."

"Do you really want me to go into the psychological reasons why you were presented with her front while I was presented with her back? Do I need to explain the difference between missionary and doggy again?"

"No! You don't need to explain it!" Anger flashed across Ken's face.

"Guess you understood the idea the first time, huh?" Joe looked at Ken sideways, his mouth twitching.

"I will admit that it was a very educational conversation." Ken laughed at the memory. "I still want to know how an 11 year old kid got his information, though."

"I broke the parental control code on the cable," Joe confessed. "However, I will say I have used my stolen education to good use. Can you say the same?"

"Joe, it's not a competition, alright? She will choose who she will choose. Besides, I haven't said I'm interested." Ken's tone was exasperated.

"Of course you're interested - look at her! She's stunning, got legs that go all the way up, she's not afraid to show off her assets..," Joe hesitated. "You would have to like boys not to be interested."

Ken glanced, red faced, at Joe. "Okay, I _am_ interested, but it's not a competition."

"You know, we could just share. Something tells me that she would be amenable to that," Joe smirked into his glass.

"Share? You mean one of us tonight and then the other tomorrow?" Confusion clouded Ken's face.

"I meant at the same time, moron. You, me and her all in the one bed." Joe chuckled at Ken's changing expression as he digested Joe's words.

"No..."

"A spit roast. Double adapter."

"Nah..."

"A three-way. Tetris with a twist."

"Not gonna happen!" Ken exclaimed in horror.

"An inside out salami sandwich – bread in the middle, meat on the outside. A cock fight. A line up for the wet and wild -"

"For God sake, Joe!" Ken buried his head in his hands, elbows resting on the bar.

"It's not like you'll have to look her in the face, Ken. With the way she slugged back that drink I'll be more than happy to keep her mouth busy. I'm fairly positive she could handle it..."

"Joe, just shut the fuck up." Mumbled between the hands still covering Ken's flaming face.

"You're too pure, Ken. A threesome can be a lot of fun. If you're gonna be part of a double-ended pile driver for the first time, it might as well be with your best friend."

"Oh God, Joe! That's just... That's just wrong!"

"Why? Because we're both guys? You don't touch me, I don't touch you, we only touch the girl. Trust me, with our four hands, two mouths and two dicks touching her, she will be very grateful..." Joe was grinning. "And since we do share pretty much everything else, why not a good time with a pretty girl? I'll even let you fire the first BM." Joe snorted in glee, unable to keep himself from openly taking delight in Ken's discomfort.

"Seriously, if you say another word, for the love of God, I will break your jaw."

"Ken, you are way too easy. It's such a shame Jinpei wasn't around to see that, maybe he would get off my back for a change," Joe chuckled before taking a drink. "Where is the kid, anyway?"

"Ryu's. Jun thought it was best not to have his ears and eyes around. Apparently this band can get a little, um, wild."

"And that's just their guitarist." Joe glanced at Ken, to be met with a glare he would have been proud to have called his own. "They _are_ good, though. Wonder what time they finish?"

"Just before midnight. Jun has to close then."

"Our beautiful hostess would like me to shout 'LAST DRINKS', in case any of you were interested in yet more alcohol. This will also be our last song, and to mark the occasion the lovely Izzy will be taking over the vocals - assuming she's drunk enough." Aaron looked at the guitarist, who was tossing off another scotch. Flicking her long white and purple hair off her shoulders, Isabella returned to her mic.

"You know there isn't enough alcohol in the world, Aaron. Why don't you just carry on?"

Ken twisted on his bar stool. "Surprised you're still here, Joe. Don't you normally run off about now?"

"Well, Ken, I'm having so much fun I thought I would hang around and help Jun tidy up. How about yourself, leaving soon?"

"Not a chance."

"Thanks for helping to clear up, Izzy, but shouldn't you be breaking down your gear?" Jun asked as the musician deposited a tray of dirty glasses on the bar.

"The boys would prefer that I am nowhere near the electronics. They say it's not safe," Isabella laughed.

"But, you're a..."

"Yep. The last time they allowed me anywhere near the amps it got a little loud...."

"You're a what, exactly?" Joe grabbed the opportunity to seize her attention as he put down some glasses of his own.

"Guitarist. But you know that already, don't you?" Isabella trained her heavily made-up eyes on the man. For the first time, he realised that her eyes were purple. She was wearing lenses coloured to match her hair he assumed. Although why she would bother when she was on stage and no one would be close enough to see...

"I think my esteemed colleague was asking about your day job," Ken said from the other side of her, standing closer than he needed as the whole bar was empty.

Looking at him while thinking, she didn't notice Joe stepping forward.

"You do have a day job, don't you?" Joe asked before she could answer Ken. Isabella's head whipped back towards him. Ken edged closer.

"Although, I would say you're talented enough to be a musician full time. Do you play any other instruments?" Ken enquired. Isabella looked up at him as Joe sidled nearer.

"Maybe you teach?" Joe asked, holding her startled stare.

"With that hair you would be the coolest teacher in the city. The kids would be lining up to take your classes." Ken's hand rested on her shoulder.

"Especially the boys." Joe leered, his fingers light on her inner elbow. The electric current of his touch on her bare skin broke Isabella's bewilderment at their behaviour and she put her hands up.

"Whoa. This is the weirdest ping pong match I have ever seen, and it's making my neck hurt. Excuse me." Isabella stepped backwards out of their bracketing bodies and quickly turned towards the stage. She shared a glance with Jun as she walked past.

"What was that about?" Joe looked at Jun.

"What was what about, Joe? You two acting like dogs sniffing around a bitch in heat?"

"The look between you and Isabella. And I think it would be wise if I ignore your last remark."

"It would." Jun picked up Isabella's tray of glasses and disappeared into the kitchen.

"I thought I was going hear you sing tonight, Izzy," Jun handed her a drink, curiously colourless, over the bar. "You know, besides backup where you really can't be heard? I keep getting told you have quite the voice."

"I don't sing in public. Thanks for the drinks." Isabella sipped hers while she sat on one of the bar stools.

Sitting down next to Isabella, the lead singer took the drink that Jun was offering. "Good crowd tonight, Jun. I hope it was worth your while."

"Definitely. Thank you for doing this. It's so hard to book bands when you don't know if you're going to be open."

"Ah, the beauty of having extroverted and musical friends. Any time, my darling, any time. Just say the word and we'll be back." Aaron smiled at the girl. "Did I just hear you say you would like to hear Izzy sing?"

"I would. And I've been told so much about that 'Wild Rose' song; I assumed you would have had it in your set."

"Oh, no. It's a bit depressing, but it would work beautifully at the end." The singer sighed, "Except, as you saw, Izzy won't sing it. But since there are only the few of us here, maybe we could convince her?"

"Please, Izzy. Sing it for me?" Jun begged, leaning on the counter towards Isabella.

Looking into Jun's eager eyes, Isabella took a large swig of her drink. After grimacing at the taste of the strong liquid she sighed and said, "Because it's you that asked, Jun. Aaron, I require my guitar."

"Just lucky we left your acoustic out. And the cello, violin and snare drum..." Aaron hopped off the stool and ran over to the stage, slapping one of the band members on the shoulder as he went past.

"Something tells me I've been set up." Isabella took another sip as she watched instruments appear out of nowhere.

"Aaron and I did talk about the song a fair amount. I really want to hear you sing it."

"So do I," Ken quickly put in. Isabella gave him a wide-eyed look before peering down at the bar.

Joe backhanded his arm and said quietly, "Way to go, numbnuts. Can't you see the girl is already nervous about singing in public?"

Ken cuffed him back, "Oh, my, aren't we the sensitive jackass this evening?"

"It's a shame I don't have a pool table here. I could really use a cue about now." Jun glared at the two guys, cutting off Joe's retort as she moved to join them in front of the bar.

Aaron was back, holding a guitar and a cello. He was followed by their drummer carrying a pair of sticks and a snare, and their bassist holding a violin. The keyboardist moved a seat to one side and accepted the cello from the singer; quickly running a few scales to make sure it was in tune. Once the other two were also set up to their tastes, Aaron held out a guitar and said, "Here you go, my love. Might need some tuning, though."

Isabella turned in her seat. Sliding forward until one of her feet was resting on the floor, she adjusted the guitar and took a pick out of the waistband of her black pants. She made some alterations to the tuning and looked at the others. The cello and violin began a haunting intro, and as the drum and guitar joined in, Isabella started singing softly, her eyes trained on her chording left hand.

"_They call me The Wild Rose  
But my name was Elisa Day  
Why they call me it I do not know  
For my name was Elisa Day" _

Aaron's baritone voice replaced hers as he lifted her head up to look in her eyes:

"_From the first day I saw her I knew she was the one  
She stared in my eyes and smiled  
For her lips were the colour of the roses  
That grew down the river, all bloody and wild"_

Isabella continued, her voice becoming stronger:

"_When he knocked on my door and entered the room  
My trembling subsided in his sure embrace  
He would be my first man, and with a careful hand  
He wiped at the tears that ran down my face _

_They call me The Wild Rose  
But my name was Elisa Day  
Why they call me it I do not know  
For my name was Elisa Day" _

Aaron pulled Isabella's hair away from her face, holding her attention on him:

"_On the second day I brought her a flower  
She was more beautiful than any woman I'd seen  
I said, "Do you know where the wild roses grow  
So sweet and scarlet and free?""_

Never looking away from Aaron, Isabella sang:

"_On the second day he came with a single red rose  
He said: "Give me your loss and your sorrow"  
I nodded my head, as I lay on the bed  
"If I show you the roses, will you follow?"_

_They call me The Wild Rose  
But my name was Elisa Day  
Why they call me it I do not know  
For my name was Elisa Day _

_On the third day he took me to the river  
He showed me the roses and we kissed  
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word  
As he knelt above me with a rock in his fist" _

Aaron spread his hand across the side of Isabella's face and let it slowly descend to her neck while singing:

"_On the last day I took her where the wild roses grow  
And she lay on the bank, the wind light as a thief  
And I kissed her goodbye, said, "All beauty must die"  
And I lent down and planted a rose between her teeth" _

Isabella sang with her eyes downcast as Aaron dropped a kiss on the top of her head:

"_They call me The Wild Rose  
But my name was Elisa Day  
Why they call me it I do not know  
For my name was Elisa Day _

_For my name was Elisa Day_

_For my name was Elisa Day.."_

When the last chords had been strummed, Isabella reluctantly looked up from her guitar at Jun. The girl had tears in her eyes, which she quickly wiped away.

"Wow. Thank you. I can see why you said it was depressing, but that was beautiful. So poignant."

"And it would make a perfect ending to our set, but Izzy suffers from an insane notion she can't sing."

"Izzy, you can truly sing, you should do it," Jun said earnestly.

Izzy smiled slightly, "Yeah, well. Anyway, I've kept one promise. It's after midnight, isn't it? Today is tomorrow already."

"Yes," Jun hesitated. "It is."

"Well, we'll just pack up the rest of the gear and get out of your hair. You look completely buggered, Jun. No offense, of course, you are still the gorgeous creature you always are," Aaron smiled. "But without your junior partner you were running around a lot tonight."

"Well, I had my reasons for sending Jinpei to Ryu's tonight. I'm sure it will be worth it." Jun looked down, blushing.

Joe stared at her with a strange look on his face. "You've got a lot of gear to move." Joe transferred his unblinking gaze to Ken. "We'll give you a hand. Won't we, Ken?"

Ken took the hint quickly: "Yeah, sure. Of course. A lot of gear."

"Thanks, but it's not that much and we've got the van right outside..."

"No problem at all. Many hands, light work, all that crap." Joe's 'friendly' smile was tight.

With help from the two boys, the van was loaded very quickly. The keyboardist, bassist and drummer said their goodbyes, jumped in and drove away leaving Aaron, Isabella, Ken, Joe and Jun standing in the chilly night air.

"Jun, my darling, have a very good night and we'll catch up soon," said Aaron as he hugged her tightly. "Remember what I said. Anytime you want us back, just give us the call. If it can be arranged with our boss, we'll be here."

"Thank you so much, Aaron. I can't tell you how much tonight meant," Jun replied, kissing him on the cheek.

"Izzy, be good and I'll see you tomorrow." Aaron cuddled Isabella. "See ya, Ken... Joe. Very nice to have met you and thanks for helping with our gear. Much appreciated."

"You're welcome. Have a good night." Ken stood to Jun's right with his arms crossed. Joe, standing to her left mirroring Ken's pose, just nodded.

Aaron looked at the tableau with sudden understanding. "Right, then, I'll be off. Bye."

With a wave, he crossed the road to a car and got in. The horn tooting in farewell, it pulled away.

Joe looked up and down the road. "I don't see any other cars around here, except for mine and Ken's. Can I offer you a ride, Isabella?"

"No, thank you." She wrapped her arms around herself and rubbed at her upper arms.

"Cold?" Jun asked quickly in concern.

"A little. I'm dressed for running around a stage under lights, not for standing on the side of a road after midnight in very late March. Unless, of course, I've suddenly changed professions." Isabella grinned.

"Come inside. It's a lot warmer there," Jun chuckled, grabbing Isabella by the hand and pulling her back into the Snack.

Joe and Ken looked at each other and quickly turning, dashed after them. By the time they had finished scuffling over who got through the door first (Ken, by putting the shoulder in and knocking Joe into the J on the sidewalk), the girls were already at the bar whispering furiously, their heads close together. They broke apart at Joe's entrance. He had decided to return the favour and Ken had just staggered 6 foot, barely keeping on his feet.

"I thought you two would have gone home by now. Any reason why you're still hanging around?" Jun asked, eyes flashing a challenge.

"Um, well. I thought I would make sure everything's okay, you know – cleaned up," Ken answered, glancing around the room, looking everywhere but at the two girls.

"I thought I would make sure Isabella got home safe. This city isn't safe for a girl out on her own at this time of night," Joe replied, trying for innocent concern, achieving lecherous intent.

"Um. Thank you, but, um...," Isabella looked at Jun for support.

"Izzy isn't going home. She staying here tonight," Jun said steadily. "She's going to teach me that song."

"Oh." Joe twitched his eyebrows in annoyance before his face cleared. "Well, I wouldn't mind hanging around. It's an interesting song; I would like to hear it again."

"Really?" Ken glanced at Joe over his shoulder.

"Er, no, not tonight. Jun is nearly out on her feet, we really should get her to bed," Isabella put her hand on Jun's arm.

In response Jun yawned, quickly covering her mouth with her hand. "Yes, I think we really need to go to bed. You'll lock the door on your way out, won't you? Thank you!" She towed Isabella towards the kitchen door.

"Jun, wait for a second." Isabella disengaged her hand. Turning, she fished around in her top. Pulling out a piece of folded paper, she held it out. "Ken, this is for you."

"For me? What is it?" Accepting it from her hand, he opened it.

"Phone number." At her answer, Joe let out a quiet 'hmpf'. Ken shot him a triumphant look and received a fierce glare in return.

"Yours?" he asked expectantly.

Isabella laughed, "Oh, God, no. I'm a girl. It's Aaron's. Call him, you're just his type. Good night."

Ken watched her hurry back to the doorway, holding out her hand for Jun to take before disappearing quickly from view.

"What does she mean, I'm just his type?" Ken's voice was tightly controlled.

"Aaron likes boys. Innocent ones I would say, whose depths have never been plumbed. Fresh off the boat. Never taken for a spin. An exit that's never been entered..."

"He thinks I'm gay??"

"Is that a serious question?" Joe cackled. "At the very least, he thinks you might be interested! So does Isabella. She did say that she's a girl when you asked if the number was hers. I wonder if Jun knows about this. I think I should go up and find out."

"I think we should leave and never speak of this again." Ken turned his crimson face to Joe, putting up a hand to stop the man moving. "Never. Ever. Do I make myself clear?"

"What part of this do you think I won't repeat as many times to as many people as I can?"

"It's not like you got the girl. She's upstairs with Jun, and you're down here. You struck out, too." Ken pushed past Joe to the door.

"What do you mean, I struck out too? You got a number – as I see it, one of us got lucky," Joe crowed. "And I'm going to make sure it is known that the Eagle was offered a pole to perch on."

"Joe, walk through the door or I'll throw you through it." Ken opened the door and roughly gestured for Joe to precede him.

"You first. If you think I'm going to turn my back on you, you have another thing coming. Or not, as the case may be."

"Don't forget to turn the fucking lock." Ken stalked out, followed by a chortling Joe. They crossed the road to their cars, Joe's blue stock in front, Ken's red and white convertible parked behind.

Reaching his car, Joe said, "I don't know why you're so pissed. You should take it as a compliment. Aaron's a good looking man, he obviously takes care of himself. I'm sure he could have picked any number of guys up, but he chose you." He stopped as an idea came to mind, "You're not homophobic, are you?"

"No!" Ken exclaimed before sighing, "It's just that..."

"It's just what, Ken?"

"It's not the first time!" Ken turned to look at Joe. "It happens often enough that I wonder what signals I'm sending. Something about me sets off gaydar. And now it's setting off Izzy's! She's obviously experienced, and she's obviously close to at least one gay man so you can assume she knows what she's looking at."

"Are you sure you're not gay?" Joe asked, leaning on his car.

"Joe!"

"It's a serious question, Ken. If you are sure that you aren't gay, then you're not. It's that simple. You think I haven't been approached on occasion? Okay, probably not anywhere as often as you, but I have." Joe took a breath, letting it out slowly. "You probably do send signals, Ken. But put it down to studying your arse off while I was wasting time cracking cable codes. You didn't have the freedom that the rest of us did. We were allowed to experience real life while you were closeted in lectures on things I don't even begin to understand. In other words, you were sheltered, we weren't. That's the reason why you have this innocent, too pure for words, aura. Girls think it's adorable, gays think it's sexy."

"Great. Girls think I'm 'adorable', because that's really how to get laid," Ken said sarcastically.

Joe laughed at his annoyance. "Yeah, because a man of the world like myself has no problem whatsoever hooking up on a nightly basis. Success is 100% guaranteed, which is why I'm standing out here in the cold talking to you and not doing unspeakable things to Isabella in Jinpei's bed. Which, of course, I would then tell him about when he is old enough to be really freaked out."

Ken glanced up at the windows above the Snack J, laughing at Joe's sardonic tone. He stopped in mystification. "There aren't any lights on."

"So?"

"We haven't been out here that long. Joe. And even I know that girls take a while to get ready for bed."

"They're probably just in the bathroom," Joe replied.

"What, _together?_" Ken looked at Joe. Joe's mouth opened soundlessly as he digested the thought.

"They could be just brushing their teeth..."

"They could. That's logical." Ken nodded.

Joe stood in silence for a moment before he started to cross the road towards the Snack.

"Where are you going?"

"Just checking to make sure I locked the door properly," Joe tossed over his shoulder. "Probably should make sure that Jun remembered to lock the back way, too. She was rather anxious to go to bed, she may have forgotten."

Ken ran to catch up. "I'll come, too, just in case."

"In case of what, Ken? That the girls are brushing their teeth? Does the sight of a woman with a mouthful of white foam turn you on?" Joe stopped and put his hand up. "Don't answer that, I just realised what I said." He reached out and gave an experimental push on the door. When it didn't budge, Joe walked along the building with Ken keeping pace at his side.

They walked in silence until they reached the alleyway that held the Snack J's back door.

"I don't feel right about this, Joe. Us doing this together has the feeling of, I don't know - stalking or something."

"All we're doing is making sure that Jun locked up properly, that's all."

"You're hoping the door is unlocked, though, aren't you?"

Joe halted. Turning, he faced Ken, his expression serious in the light of the moon. "All I am hoping for is that Jun and Isabella will be safe tonight, and all nights after. You don't know this, but I often check that Jun's locked up properly. You know how I feel about her and Jinpei: I would hate myself if something happened because I didn't do something as simple as check a door on my way home."

Ken laughed, "I do the same thing. And I've caught Ryu doing it, too."

Joe chuckled, "Guess we still look out for them like we used to when we were kids... We should set up a roster, it would save the damn door being checked three times a night. Come on, let's get this ritual over with so we can go home."

Arriving at the door, Joe stepped back and gestured Ken forward. "Just to show my true intentions, you do it."

Ken grasped the handle and turned it. With a click the door swung slightly inwards. Ken looked over his shoulder at Joe. "Sometimes it pays to check. I'll just lock it and then we can go."

"Just be quiet. We don't want to scare the girls by slamming the door shut."

Ken snaked his hand around the solid door and turned the lock. As he was about to shut it, he stopped.

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what, Ken?" Joe stepped forward.

"I thought I heard a thumping sound, like feet on stairs."

"Probably one of the girls getting a drink or something."

"The kitchen's dark, Joe. Did you see the light on as we were walking down?"

"No," Joe considered it for a brief moment. "Are you thinking someone's in there?"

"Think about it, Joe. Everyone around here knows Jun lives above the Snack. What if we aren't the only ones that check the door at night?"

"Do you think we should go in?"

"If no one's in there, how exactly do we explain our presence to Jun?" Ken's perplexity was apparent.

"But if there is someone in there... Jun can take care of herself, but Isabella's upstairs, too. Jun was exhausted, she's probably already out like a light. Would she hear anything?"

"Jun wouldn't be so shattered if at least one of us thought to help her instead of watching the band."

"Hey, don't look at me. My tab isn't a mile long." Joe poked Ken in the shoulder blade. "This not solving our current situation, Commander."

Ken stood and thought for a moment. Raising his bracelet to his lips, he tripped its communicator function: "G-3, it's Ken. Are you still awake?"

"Yes," Jun's voice, slightly breathless, responded.

"Did you lock the back door to the Snack?"

"You called me to find out whether I locked the door?" Jun asked, annoyance flowing through her tone. In the background a soft female giggle was heard. "I can't remember. Anyway, Joe probably checked it on his way home. He usually does."

"He's here with me now. The door's open."

"You're both still here? Don't you have beds to go to?"

"We got talking. Anyway, Jun, the door is open."

"Well, lock it and, oh, leave. Good night, Ken."

"Jun, I heard something, like someone running up the stairs. Did either of you girls come down to get a drink or something?"

"No, neither of us went down to get a, a drink. Good night, Ken."

"Are you sure Izzy didn't?"

"She's been right here since you left, Ken. Ah, ah, I am certain she didn't."

"We're coming in."

"Ken, no, wait. Oh, oh, fuck..," Jun's voice tapered off on a high note.

At her final word, both men charged into the darkened kitchen. Jun didn't use language like that often, so it was cause for alarm. Tripping over themselves, each other and various appliances, they made a noisy stampede up the stairs. Reaching the top, they struggled to pass each other to enter to Jun's room.

Not finding the bloodied, unconscious body of the prowler they expected, they looked around the room. Jun was standing at the side of her bed, trying to cover herself with her t-shirt. Isabella was sitting on the bed, holding a pillow tightly across her chest, one hand over her mouth. Both were obviously in a state of undress, their two pairs of eyes looking at the breathless men in apprehension.

"Where is he?" Ken demanded.

"Where's who?" Jun answered in a quivery voice, trying to make a size 2 shirt into at least a 12.

"The intruder. The guy we heard running up the stairs," Ken was intense, practically getting on his knees to peer under the bed.

"Ken, he's obviously not in here. Why don't we give the girls a chance to, um, get sorted and we'll check out the rest of the place?" Joe grabbed the back of Ken's shirt, pulling him backwards through the door.

Once Ken was just clear, Jun slammed the door in their faces. Ken turned to look at Joe in stunned amazement. "She almost shut that on me."

Joe was sporting a stunned expression of his own. "Considering what we interrupted, we were lucky she didn't just yo-yo our balls."

"Huh?"

Joe looked at Ken, trying to find the words. Finally, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath and said in a heated whisper, "This is not a conversation I am going to have at this time, standing outside this door. Come on, we'll just do a quick check to make sure that what you thought was the reason for the 'thumping' sound wasn't actually the real reason after all. Then we will leave."

"What else would have caused it?"

"Not now, Ken."

Finding the place clear, Joe stopped Ken from barging into Jun's room to let her know the good news. Instead he called out, "We're just going now, Jun. Good night."

"Yeah, 'night. This time you really are leaving, right?"

"Right."

Joe pushed Ken towards the stairs.

"We should check the Snack, too," Ken said at the bottom, heading towards the bar. Joe followed him, leaning against the doorjamb to watch Ken searching the room in the dim light.

"Nobody's here. What did I hear if it wasn't someone running up the stairs?" Ken looked at Joe in bafflement.

"I'll tell you outside," Joe said, turning into the kitchen.

They departed, with Joe checking the door was properly bolted. Walking down the alleyway, Ken asked, "Well, I don't understand a damn thing that just happened. I know I heard a thumping sound, then Jun swearing like that. She sounded under pressure too! Do you think we should have looked in her wardrobe?" He stopped, clouting Joe's arm. "I bet there was someone hiding in the cupboard. They could have a weapon, which would explain why Jun wanted us out so quickly. She's protecting Izzy! Joe, we have to go back!"

"Ken! No!" Joe grabbed his arm as he swung around. Looking into Ken's fervent face, Joe said in disbelief, "You really are a naive douche bag, aren't you? You really have no idea as to what's happening! Oh, my God! I can't believe you've hung around me this long and don't know what we just saw!"

"Well, if you stopped yelling at me for a moment and just told me, then I would know, wouldn't I?" Ken's face flushed.

Joe looked straight up and expelled a breath. "Jun hasn't sent a bird scramble, that means she isn't in any danger. Agreed?" Ken nodded in understanding, his stance relaxing. Joe looked at him meaningfully. "Then that can only mean there really was no competition for Isabella tonight. Neither of us had a chance. She wasn't swinging our way."

"She's not a monkey. What the hell are you trying to say?"

"She wanted to end her evening by diving for pearls instead of eating salami."

"Again, what the hell are you trying to say?"

"She's upstairs, with Jun, in bed. A girl! Not one of us guys! You cannot be this stupid, Ken!"

"She's a lesbian?"

"Yes! No!" Joe exclaimed. "Bi-sexual. The way she was flirting with us earlier she's definitely Bi. We may have been in with a chance, after all," he added in a thoughtful tone.

"She's upstairs with Jun! Jun isn't... She doesn't... No..."

"Jun is at an age where she might experiment, or suffer a little confusion about her sexuality. Apparently, it's a natural part of growing up."

"Did you??"

"I discovered what I liked early. But not everybody does, Ken."

"So we walked in on them doing, um, you know?"

"Yes, Ken. They weren't exactly wearing a lot of clothes when we barged in. And we did a lot more than that..." Joe chuckled. "I think you interrupted, um, a rather special moment when you called Jun..."

Comprehension dawned slowly on Ken's face, his mouth forming a perfect O in shock.

Joe continued, "And that thumping sound you heard? Well, Jun's bedroom is above the kitchen..."

"Oh, my God.... how the hell am I supposed to look her in the face again, Joe? What the hell do I say to her? She's going to hate me, hate us for this!" Ken cried.

Joe put his hand on the stricken man's shoulder. "It's going to be awkward, Ken. But we'll get through it. If we act like it's okay with us, then Jun will get over her embarrassment – and she's embarrassed, I can assure you. And probably really pissed with us. Getting caught in the middle of having sex is never a good thing. Unless it's by someone you wouldn't mind joining in, then it's not so bad..," Joe grinned. "Come on, if Jun doesn't hear our cars leave soon, our gonads will never be safe."

Almost at the cars, Ken stopped Joe. Hands in his pockets and looking at his feet he said, "No doubt this is a really stupid question and you will torture me with it always, but I'm going to ask it anyway. Girls aren't built like guys and I can't think of why the bed would be rocking enough for me to hear it..."

"Um, well, Ken. They have to be more inventive. Use more, um, toys..."

"Toys?"

"You know. Vibrators, strap-ons, dildos. That type of thing."

"Actually, I don't know. But thanks, I guess I get the idea..."

Joe looked at the hang-dog expression on Ken's face. "Sometimes I have to remind myself you're older than I am. Damn, there are some big gaps in your education. Come on, let's get you at least a proper idea." Opening the trunk of his car, Joe tossed aside various tools to pull out a hard case lap top.

"What are you doing?"

"The internet is good for more than reading e-mails and filing mission reports, Ken. Give me a second." Joe tapped furiously at the keys for a couple of minutes before turning the computer around to show Ken. "Here."

Looking at the screen Joe had presented him, Ken put his hand over his mouth. "Oh. That's rather, um, graphic..."

"That's just an advertisement, but do you get the idea? With one of those, Isabella wouldn't have any trouble getting the bed rocking."

"Joe, that's ISO issue. When they upload the records, they will know you were looking at this." Ken pointed at the screen.

"Never off duty, huh? Don't worry, this isn't the worse they've seen. They stopped asking me to justify my web searches about a month after giving it to me." Joe grinned evilly. "Not sure why, but I do remember being in a particularly bad mood that day."

Shutting off the computer, Joe tossed it back into the trunk.

"Guess we should get going. Jun's probably waiting to hear our cars." Ken glanced up at the dark window.

"You're going to be all right, aren't you? You have had a rather large shock to your innocence," said Joe, slamming the boot closed.

"Don't have a choice, do I? Jun is a valuable member of the team, and more importantly, my friend. She is what she is and that's the way it's going to be. I just never looked at her like that, you know?" Ken scratched the back of his head, looking at his car.

"Yeah. It's not what I expected either. But if she's happy, then more power to her."

"Joe," Ken hesitated, trying to find words. "Why can you be so nice and understanding when it's us, and be a complete arse when it's other people?"

"Because I give a shit about you, others don't matter. See you tomorrow afternoon at training."

"'Yeah, see you."

A dark figure quietly swung through the open window. Placing his feet gently on the floor, he silently slid the casement shut. Crossing to the bed, he surveyed the scene before him. Two female bodies in the double bed, one fair, one dark, long hair trailing over the pillows. Sleeping on their sides, they faced away from each other in almost identical poses, legs bent, hands curled under their chins.

Placing a hand gently against Isabella's mouth, he prevented her from crying out and waking Jun.

"Ssh, it's only me," he whispered inches from her ear. "Sorry, but I didn't want you to disturb Jun."

Isabella reached up and removed his hand from her mouth. "What took you so long? I fell asleep waiting."

"Education." An eyebrow twitched in amusement. "And then I had to drive off too, or it would have been too obvious."

"Did he buy it?"

"Hook, line and sinker. You girls were amazing, and Jun's performance over the communicator was just brilliant. Sounded like the real thing." A hesitation. "It was just a performance, wasn't it?"

"Of course. You know she won't play without you. Besides we knew we would have to be ready at the right time," Isabella answered softly. "Did you like the phone number bit? Jun thought of it."

"That was almost my favourite bit – especially the whole 'not my number, I'm a girl' thing. I wish I could have seen his face, but I'm glad he couldn't see mine," he said in amusement.

"It was priceless. We barely got up the stairs before we lost it. And it almost made us forget to unlock the door. If Jun wasn't so fast on her feet, you would have found the place secured. We almost blew it," Isabella said anxiously.

"Don't worry, Bella. I would found a way to get him up here. As it was, hearing Jun running up the stairs was a perfect reason to come in. And the best bit was he didn't even need encouragement, he practically fought me to get up the stairs."

"Well, you should know how to push his buttons by now," Isabella chuckled quietly.

"He's too easy. Anyway, one last piece to the puzzle needs to be sent straight to his inbox. What's the point if our victim doesn't know it was all a joke?" A lap top flickered to life in the semi-darkness.

"You're using the picture with all three of us in the bed? The tasteful one, not the one you wanted to send?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Yes, the boring one with no good bits showing," he chuckled, setting the computer onto the bedside table and kneeling before it. He scrolled the screen down and turned it to her. "I thought I would add something else for you. Do you approve?"

Isabella read the section he was pointing at. "Oh, love, you are too good to me."

"Not good enough at times, my wild rose, that I do know. Of course it will all depend on how thoroughly he reads this." A smirk in the reflected light, "I wonder how long it's going to take for him to check his e-mail..."

"Probably ages," Jun's sleepy voice answered. Stretching she rolled over. "I'm awake. And you're still dressed, what's with that shit?"

"Jun, my love, I think I've been a very bad influence on you..."

From: Accipitridae

Sent: 3.06 1/4/--

To: Cathartidae

Opened: 11.38 1/4/--

'_My Dearest Friend,_

_Sometimes things are not as they seem. _

_To make things clear in a way you understand, Jun is not hetero-challenged, a muff diver, rug muncher, kitten charmer, or drag king. Nor is she a boy, bull, femme, lipstick or any type of dyke. I am sure I don't need to mention how convenient it would have been, given she does ride a motor bike. However, while she may not be a lesbian, we are working on her becoming a lot more experimental... But, I digress._

_Isabella is an old friend. You do actually know her and have for a while – you see her every time we return from a mission. Next time keep an eye out for her. She'll be the one directing us into the maintenance bays, assigning work crews and suggesting improvements to our vehicles. She hides that hair of hers under the hood of her jumpsuit, wears a lot less make up and behaves in a manner more fitting to her position, so I'm completely gobsmacked that you didn't recognise her. I was under the assumption you were a trained ninja and aware of your surroundings at all times... But, anyway, when she isn't working her day job, Bella can often be as wild as she seems and has a wicked sense of humour. With her help Jun and I were able to hit you with a practical joke like none you have ever executed on us in the more than the ten years we've known each other. Of course, if you weren't as gullible as you are, then we wouldn't have been able to pull it off so successfully. For that, we would like to say thank you very much for your co-operation in our operation._

_Jun would like you to know that it doesn't make up for the time you let a cage of rats loose in the Snack J. This is a mere down payment. The arguments with Jinpei about keeping 'just one' went on for weeks and she says, most emphatically I might add, that she still owes you for that. God, I love it when she uses that tone of voice – but only when it's directed at someone else. I would suggest you protect your cojones any time she's around._

_I would like you to know that that it doesn't make up for the time you let the same damn cage of rats loose in the GodPhoenix. I did notice you were the only one wearing a seat belt when Ryu reacted the way you knew he would. I did appreciate that you waited for us to be 10,000 feet up, but I do still owe you for the broken ribs. And the whinging from Jinpei about keeping 'just one'._

_Well, we do hope you now know what you're dealing with. Jun and I have scores to settle and we have teamed up. Be afraid._

_And just for your own education, here's a picture for you to think upon. It isn't the one I wanted to send – that one was way more interesting - but in a democracy the majority wins, especially when they vote ever so nicely...'_

Joe sat back from the screen as the portrait formatted picture downloaded. Smiling at him was Ken bracketed by the two girls, lying on a bed he recognised as Jun's, and all three were completely naked. The look shining in the clear blue eyes was not the innocent boy next door persona he was used to. Nor was the look of pure desire in Jun's as she looked up at Ken's profile, her arm lying down his torso to disappear out of the scene. Isabella was obviously holding the camera, her left arm stretched out of the shot and Ken's hand was placed very confidently to protect her dignity. The date stamp was from over a month earlier.

After a few minutes staring in disbelief at the screen, Joe realised there was more to scroll up. Dreading what he would see he hit the page down button.

'_Bella would like you to know a few things. _

_1. If she keeps finding pieces of Galactor goon in the Condor Machine's engine, she will insist that **you** clean it out instead of tackling the job herself to save her staff the extra trauma. She says it's not fair that they have to deal with you and body parts at the same time. I don't want to deprive you of the enjoyment of running down the fleeing scumbags, so I would suggest you let her attach the cover she keeps suggesting. It will **not** affect performance, even if it does make the engine sound quieter. Bella has the data to prove it. I will do you the favour of not repeating what she said was your reason for not wanting the cover. But it has to do with all roar, no – well, you get the idea._

_Bella has suggested a compromise. She will happily fit out your car with pinstripe detailing in any colour of your choice. Given your thoughts on what makes it go fast, the stripes will obviously compensate for the speed lost by installing the cover. There is no actual scientific data to back it up, but you seriously won't notice any change in its power. It will be the same Condor Machine, only quieter with really cool stripes. I suggest you go for red ones, because we all know that red makes any car go faster._

_Anyway, use the cover or clean out the engine prior to leaving it with the maintenance crew. Your choice. But you only have those two to choose from. If you think you have more, read on._

_2. From now on, when you come back to Crescent Coral in your usual foul mood, Bella would appreciate it if you didn't take it out on her staff. She keeps having to find good mechanics to replace the ones you scare into insensibility. She suggested I take away your shuriken before you leave the GodPhoenix. I suggested Hell would freeze over first, so we agreed on asking you nicely. This time. _

_Bella's also very definite about giving you a warning. And this it. The only one you're getting. I suggest you behave. Read 3 and 5, especially parts of 5, before you think about arguing. Oh, and 4. Definitely read the main part of 4. Then come back and re-read the first sentence of 2. If after all that, you still insist on being the stubborn rat bastard that you are, then I would suggest printing this out and taping it to the window of the Condor Machine. In large print. And highlighted. If that doesn't work, well, then you're just asking for the consequences._

_And, no. They won't be deducted from what Jun and I still owe you._

_3. If you drive past the yellow safety line one more time just to annoy her staff, Bella will deflate your tires – with a bullet - while you're still moving. And then make you change them yourself. Before you say 'her and what army', I would like to remind you she has staff. Lots of them. And you have managed to piss off every single one of them multiple times. They are more than willing to take the casualties. They may be our maintenance crew, but they double as part of Crescent Coral's security force. They are well-armed and highly trained. Death bringing you down would be honourable and considered more than worth the losses expected. Yes, they have done the calculations. And have conducted computer simulations. And trained for that scenario. Many, many, many times. And they are damn good. Their technical consultants have a great deal of faith in their abilities, especially as they have also been promised back up from nearly every area of the base. I'm sure Nambu would very proud of the team spirit you have inspired in our people._

_On a side note, Jun and I thought it was very nice that a bunch of such well trained and seasoned soldiers were so willing to take combat advice from a couple of teenagers. They really listened. And took detailed notes. You should see the diagrams – so specific and anatomically correct. I do believe that they had help from the medical team to get them perfect in every way._

_4. When Bella and the others are harmonising while working, it would be in your best interests not to sneer and make remarks about poncy music. If you do, not only will she will delete the entire collection of Celine Dion's love ballads you have on the Condor Machine's MP3, she will download the video recording she has of you singing 'My Heart Will Go On' into the ISO's computer system as a virus. Within minutes every ISO computer world wide will warble loudly with your baritone trying desperately hard to become a soprano and show pictures of you wiggling your butt in birdstyle, so I would suggest, strongly, that you keep your comments to yourself. You thought they were good last night so shut up and enjoy the free concert from semi-professionals, some of whom have classical training. Surprised? Did you seriously believe that the all important ISO takes the lowest dregs of recruitment? What the Hell would that make us?_

_I would also suggest that you remember the security cameras installed throughout the base. The public areas are recorded at all times, you dumb fuck. There ARE signs everywhere..._

_On a personal note - the girls do not know of this section, and nor will they ever hear it from either one of us – I'm asking you as a friend to quit making Bella feel self-conscious about singing in public. She certainly has talent, one that is now hidden unless she is singing with a group or drunk enough not to care. All because of one single typically Condor smartarse remark that hit too close to home and an upbringing you wouldn't believe. I know you didn't know. But you can be a right bastard sometimes. Do you know that? You were more than compassionate about her stage fright last night, but that's when you thought you were in with a chance so you gave a damn. Why can't you give a damn all the time? You talked a good line about Jun's sexuality though, and you were genuine. It's a shame you don't show this side of you to people you don't personally care about. Not only would it save the ISO shitloads in insurance claims, it would also get Nambu off your back. For my part, I still have hope that you will grow out of your life long 'arsehole to the little people' phase. Eventually. _

_Either way, here's the deal. Bella made me promise not to deal with you myself, but she didn't think to make me promise not to tell the Swan. The same Swan who has been devastated by Bella's constant refusal to sing for her – am I making myself clear?_

_Anyway, on to the final thing on Bella's list..._

_5. If you slap her butt and suggest she take the Condor for a spin one more time, she will. Right off the edge of an elbow, knee, foot, convenient work table... I guess I should mention that I met Bella during one of those 'boring' lectures I had to sit through. Advanced Combat Training 401. You know - the course they use to choose our security force? The same one Navy SEALS go through before being deployed? I can tell you from personal experience – Bella is single minded and ruthless. Unless she's got a personal interest vested in it, no nutsack is safe. She takes great delight in cracking them and has become quite the specialist at it. And before you say 'her and what army', re-read number 3, just add 'in the defence of their commanding officer' between 'Death bringing you down' and 'would be honourable'. _

_Seriously, hit 'Print' now. It's for your own good. As much as we would hate to see you hurt and humiliated, Jun and I won't step in. As we've said, ignore this and pay the price for your own actions. This is tough love._

_One last thing from Jun. She would like to point out that I blush a lot. I would like to point out that no, I don't. It's a biological thing. I think about sex and blood rushes via my face on its way to where it will do the most good. I just have a lot of blood to move. And I think about sex a lot. It does help to maintain the innocent facade when Nambu questions me about the various rumours that run rife every now and again. Not to mention helping make you the team's known and feared man whore - compared to your talk and reputation I look so sweet and pure and that makes trawling a lot easier. Surprisingly, 'adorable' does work. Really, really well._

_So, dear friend, and I do genuinely mean that, I would like to end this with a last minute question. Were you sincere in your description (and willingness to partake) of a ménage á trois between two straight guys and a girl? I think Bella's kind of fed up with fighting Aaron for my attention when we get together. As much as she loves him dearly, I think it would be nice to consider her for a change. And someone told me that a considered girl is a very grateful thing. She's also very flexible, open-minded, generous and inventive. And bloody flexible, have I mentioned that? As a bonus, maybe getting to know her might make complying with her demands a lot easier for you. You know, when Bella becomes someone that 'matters'? _

_Ken_

_P.S. There is no such thing as a double-ended pile-driver. Even using my prodigious experience and imagination I have worked out that the only way to accomplish such a thing would put one of us in serious danger of being left with two veg and no meat. If you doubt me, search it. The internet is good for stuff other than e-mail and filing mission reports, you know. Which reminds me - I have been told that if yours are not done and in by 1200 sharp today, your internet access will be cut and you will be required to write them out by hand. On a small desk in Nambu's office where he can personally keep an eye on you to make sure they are done correctly. And no, this is no April Fool's joke. Gee, I hope you checked your e-mail when you got home.' _


End file.
